Familiarity
by 1Past and Present1
Summary: Shadow misses Maria with all his soul and blames himself for her death. On the verge of depression, Rouge offers him some comfort and he finally realizes that although Maria may be gone, her memory still lives on within his heart... always.


**Familiarity**

_Maria… my little Maria…_

I wipe a stray tear from my eyes as cold, winter air cuts mercilessly at my exposed flesh, burning me bitterly. But that pain is nothing. The pain inside is a thousand times more severe.

Images of the girl I once loved sever their way through my heart like a thousand icy daggers, leaving a raw mess in their wake. Her soft voice that sung me to sleep at night, her loving touch that wiped away my pain, her sweet scent that reminded me of home… the memories drive me mad with regret.

_I promised I'd be there forever. I lied._

I remember how the soldiers came. I remember the gunfire, the screaming, my angel's blood on my hands. I remember her pure blue eyes, never leaving mine as I reached out to touch her… never reaching far enough.

I couldn't protect her. I couldn't save her.

I promised I'd be there and I lied.

I failed.

"Maria," I whisper softly to myself, her sweet name a burning ache in my soul. "My delicate Maria…" _She is gone. I will never see my Maria again. _

"Shadow?" whispers a concerned voice from beside me, interrupting my thoughts. A warm hand rests lightly on my shoulder and squeezes, turning me slightly to gaze into blue eyes that merely remind me of the love I lost.

"Hello, Rouge," I reply hoarsely, turning to gaze somewhere else. I can't bear to look at her for too long. She only reminds me of Maria.

"Are you okay?" she says gently, taking a hesitant step closer. "You've been standing out here for hours. I was wondering if you'd like to come inside and get something to eat."

I sigh solemnly, giving her a half-hearted smile. "No, it's alright. You go ahead and eat. I'm not terribly hungry."

"You said that last night, honey. You have to eat something." Her voice is so deep and soothing, almost luring me closer to rest against her warm chest. It's a sound I have grown used to over the years, something I have begun to associate with safety and love.

Like Maria.

I shake my head, fighting the urge to touch the hand that rests so familiarly against my shoulder. "No, I'm not hungry. You should be inside where it's warm."

"I'm not leaving you out here by yourself," she replies with a hint of firmness, taking me by the hand. "If I have to drag you inside, I will."

I turn to her and frown, wrenching myself away from her grasp. "Why won't you just let me be? Why do you always insist on looking after me like I'm actually worth your time?"

Her eyes widen in surprise, her ears tilting down guiltily. "I want to see you happy, Shadow. Is that so wrong?"

"Darn it, Rouge! Don't you get it?" I turn away and sigh, my chest throbbing with pain.

"Well, you could tell me what it is I'm not getting," she whispers back softly, barely audible. "Maybe then you wouldn't become so frustrated with me all the time."

I turn back to her in shock, guilt stabbing me fiercely in the gut. "I… I'm not frustrated with you."

"Well, it sure looks like you are." She attempts a smile, but fails with a sad shrug. "Sometimes I get the impression that you don't like having me around."

I watch as she slowly turns away, gazing out over her balcony with sad thoughtfulness. "Rouge…"

"I mean, I don't know how to help make things easier," she continues softly, wiping her nose with a tissue. "You always want to spend your time alone. When I try to help, you push me away. When I ask you about your past, you shut me off."

I feel another stab to the gut, more intense than before. "Rouge, I never meant-"

"I mean, you can be really difficult sometimes!" She folds her arms and growls, giving me a sharp glance. "I'm so nice to you that I let you stay with me in my own home. I cook for you, I always try to spoil you with presents whenever its Christmas or Valentines Day, and all you do is mope."

I close my eyes as realisation sinks in, a burning fire in my heart. "Rouge, you want to know why I'm never open with you?"

She snorts angrily, refusing to look at me. "Yes."

"It's because…" I swallow, taking her arm in a gentle embrace before resting my head on her strong shoulder. "It's because you remind me… of her…"

I hear a soft gasp as warm fingers lightly stroke my face, her blue eyes looking down on me with painful sadness. "Darling, I never realised! I must make you feel so uncomfortable and… miserable…"

I shake my head, sighing. "No, you don't. You just remind me how much I loved her. I look at you, into your eyes, and I see her looking back at me like she's in you somehow."

Her cheeks redden slightly as she wipes a tear from her eyes, chuckling. "My, Shadow! I didn't realise I was so familiar to you. I'm actually kind of flattered."

"You're a lot like her," I whisper, staring into her eyes thoughtfully. "You're beautiful and soft, like she was…"

"Um, thanks."

"You smell really good, too. Maria also smelled good…"

"Shadow, you're starting to creep me out now."

"I wonder if you TASTE like Maria," I whisper cunningly, baring a fang as I pretend to nibble on her cheek. "Hmm… tastes like steak!"

"Argh! Shadow!" She laughs and pulls away from me, giving me a light punch to the chest. "Behave yourself!"

I smile, sighing. "If you wish."

"So, does this mean you'll stop moping so much?" she smirks, giving me a cute side glance. "I may not be Maria, but I'm still your friend. I'm here for you whenever you need me."

I nod, shyly extending my hand. "I'll try. But first, I owe you something."

"Oh? What?" She graciously accepts my hand, taking a step forward so out faces linger together. "Is it shiny and expensive?"

I chuckle, taking her into a soft hug. "No, but it comes from my heart."

"Even better," she whispers as out lips lightly touch, the pain in my heart slowly dissolving.

_Maria. You may be gone from this world, but your soul lives on forever in my heart.

* * *

_

**The End**

I hope that was alright. I just wrote it for some exercise, really. Wanted to try something new...

Review, please!


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